“Hey, are you all-right?” they asked the man, sitting all alone on the green bench besides the tree.
“Yes, nothing worse can happen to me now”, he replied with a straight face.
“You never know, there are many birds above” they mocked the guy.
And at that very moment, one of the bird did shit on the poor fellow.
“hahahah,” they laughed, ” we warned you”
“Nothing worse has happened, its just the usual shit I get all along”, the man said with absolutely no emotion what so ever, and got lost in his thoughts again.
That man was not retarded, and wasn’t like that from birth. He was just suffering from a disease called as Depression.
After everyone left laughing over the state of that sad guy, he looked up in the sky with tears in his eyes and started looking in the Horizon wondering,
“Sleeping each night with my eyes open,
wondering where is my dream?
A help, a hand, or whatever is needed,
Where to find that thing indeed?
Afraid of breathing air of hope, my lord
Afraid of sleeping too long,
in midst of all the faith I had,
where did I go wrong??
Is life fair, a question;
negative, is what I feel sometimes,
where are you, are you seeing me,
What am I paying for, what is my crime.”
Fighting Depression is hard indeed, no matter ho many times you have crossed this lane,
as when mind and heart, both get fucked, its difficult to understand this pain.
The man got up, and started walking towards his home.
Wondering about the seed, in the garden of faith, which he had sown.
“Would that seed become a tree one day,
and shade me from this grief;
is this what fate has chosen for me,
for the man with a true belief??
Too much to express, too much to explore
I have too much to Love, before I die;
Where the hell, my hope has gone, my lord,
I thought I was your bird, who was meant to fly;
I won’t lie I want to cry, and sometimes want to end it all;
I just don’t get, if you want me to diversify, or just bear one more fall.
I know the difference between give up and let it go,
but sometimes both feel the same;
what to do, as I had already given my heart,
and got nothing but pain.”
His steps might be going forward, but his thinking was bringing the flashbacks of the time he had fallen. As he was walking, thinking about what has happened, it started to rain and hail. Still, he bore the pain and kept walking in open, after all he had endured a bigger pain.
A few steps ahead, he saw an alter, and just couldn’t stop his thoughts.
he shouted, he cursed, aloud in his mind, the scars of all the battles he has fought.
“I am not an accident, not by chance,
but a human form of you itself;
then why you left me alone always,
why you don’t show yourself?
I fought and fought, and lost everything;
why am I treated this way??
I never did wrong to anyone,
then why I have to see this day?
My hardwork got crushed, they laughed at my faith,
but still I believed in you;
c’mon my lord answer me now,
if you not then who??
As fighting this feeling is hard, no matter how many times I had crossed this lane,
Its difficult to live a life, my lord
when it feels like God is giving you all the pain.”
Before the agony of the man could go louder, a small child hold his shirt from behind;
” Please don’t shout at him, please don’t. He is right now helping my Mom, who is blind”
I prayed and prayed, and he relived her soul, he just forgot her eyes;
Please don’t shout at him, please don’t. He is busy in making my mom’s eyes;
The angry man, the drenched man; couldn’t utter a word any more;
He sat and prayed with that young boy for his mom, and kissed on the sacred floor.
As the man was leaving, the child asked, what the man was shouting for?
“I was just asking him to show up, and take my boat to the shore”
” Ok uncle, I will pray for you, as you have prayed for my mom, in the meanwhile you can keep my boat, which I have made to sail through the thunderstorm”
He took out a paperboat from his pocket, with ‘sail and sail’ written over its side; The man was stunned at this innocent gesture, and couldn’t deny the gift, though he tried”
The boat was crumbled, a little inside out, with MOM written inside.
That innocent child remembered him of his time, when he sails the boats, with dream and passion inside.
The smile over that young child did answer, did answer his question in a way;
He looked at that boat and smiled, his first smile in many days.
He came out in rain, and placed that boat where it belongs,
and the boat sailed over the little stream of water, and the man sailed towards his home along.
That Paperboat was nothing but a belief, that no matter what happens, you can always sail, over the little stream of water, which hurts you from time to time.
Going after your dream and falling on the way, is just a phase not a crime.
If its your dream, you will stand again, and find another way.
Depression is just a phase, my friend, don’t let it permanently stay.
P.s: Depression is not a state to be fought alone, but its a state to be fought together. Just like the old man, you might feel cheated sometime, you might feel unlucky sometime, you might even curse GOD for the things you are facing, but never loose that young boy in you, who could even help any other old man, by giving him a paperboat of his own.
I know its hard, very hard, but that what boats are made up of. To sail and sail, no matter how big the tide is.
Its a saying that smooth Sea can never make you a skilled sailor, just cling on this thing, that if your sea is not smooth, you are meant to be a great sailor.
Just hold on and fight it out, as there is something very special on the other side of it. Find your Paperboat and have faith on it.